The Vicious Bigots Who Call Themselves Parents: When You’ve Got Nothing to Say, Insult a Childless Person


Most of the time I like Facebook. I get to keep up with people I like, and with whom I share a love of good food, art, books, music and a host of other things. One of the things I don’t share with many of these folks is the same political outlook. But because I believe that diversity is our strength and something to be cherished, I don’t revile them for their views—and most return the favor and put up with or at least overlook mine. A goodly number probably simply assume I share their views because, you know, you can’t be a conservative and appreciate Emily Dickinson or James Baldwin, after all. In any case I usually don’t talk politics on Facebook, because, frankly there are more interesting sites  that offer more challenging political discourse.

I’m making an exception today and cross-posting on Facebook—not so much to talk politics but to call out a former “friend” who asserted that I had no right to an opinion on children being cared in government facilities while their parents await  immigration appeal hearings because I’d never “birthed a child.” Make no mistake. It was comment that was meant to hurt, and it did. Does this person know what child or children I may or may not have given birth to? No. What might have happened to that child or children? No. Does this person know if I am (or was) even physically capable of giving birth to a child? No. With the self-righteousness that apparently only those who can prove they have fully functional reproductive organs can achieve, this person nevertheless went right ahead and kicked me in the ovaries. Well done! And a mighty persuasive argument, too! I sure feel differently about illegal aliens now!

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It’s OK to be mean to her. She doesn’t have children.

So, indulge me as, for once, I stoop to respond in kind to the kind of people who, because they have children, think they are morally superior to those who do not. I know it’s beneath me, but what choice do I have when I know there’s no way my adversary is capable of rising to my level? I’m talking to you–the professional parents who never miss an opportunity to virtue-signal their superiority. You would do well to keep in mind:

  1. Childless people subsidize K-12 public education for your kids through the property taxes they pay but receive no services in exchange.
  2. Childless co-workers pick up the slack when you leave work early to watch your kid throw a ball or twirl a baton.
  3. Childless friends plaster a smile you think is sincere (it is not) on their faces as they listen to you rattle on about your child’s fascinating (it is not) day at school.
  4. Childless friends and co-workers spend hundreds if not thousands of dollars buying the inferior chocolate bars, ugly gift wrap, and stale cookies you peddle to support your child’s club or team or who knows…the list is endless. You might be interested to know that this junk winds up where it belongs…in the trash. Except the Thin Mints.
  5. Childless travelers are bullied into giving up their seats on planes for you, so you can sit next to your kid, and, by the way, yes, we do mind when you “need a break” from watching your poorly behaved and poorly brought up spawn and expect us to do it for you.

I’m sure you love your kids, but I’ve got news for you: as a parent, that is what you are supposed to do. It doesn’t make you special. And let me tell you something else. As a child and an adult, I loved my parents. So how dare you suggest, hint, or assume that I, or any other childless person, does not know what the child-parent bond is or what it represents, especially as those parents grow older? That you could be so smug, so sure that you and you alone understand this kind of love makes me wonder if you are even capable of it.

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4 thoughts on “The Vicious Bigots Who Call Themselves Parents: When You’ve Got Nothing to Say, Insult a Childless Person

  1. I’m a parent.
    Recently, on the radio, I was listening to someone going on about parental leave especially as to how taking it affects someone’s career and wondering if the logical conclusion is to allow someone 6 weeks to trek the Appalachian Trail because that is their bliss.
    Oh and it’s good to see a post by you.

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