When Professor Samuelson Has a Pen In His Pocket–You’d Better Believe He’s Glad to See You


Things are steamy in the Sunshine State. Just ask Don Samuelson, MS, PhD, recently placed on administrative leave by the University of Florida, College of Medicine, Department of S.A. Clinical Sciences, Gainesville.

Professor Samuelson spent part of Saturday night in the Alachaua County Jail, and has the mug shot to prove it:

Professor Samuelson, currently free on bond.

Professor Samuelson, currently free on bond.

Professor Samuelson had apparently been conducting covert surveillance on the sartorial habits of women on campus. His alleged crime is not original–see the example set by former Colby College professor of economics Philip H. Brown–but it is totally pervy.

At age 65, Professor Samuelson is a traditional kind of researcher.  No fancy tablet or touchscreen device for him. Nope. He prefers his trusty, old-fashioned pen to record his findings. Well, maybe not so old-fashioned since Professor Samuelson’s pen comes equipped with its very own video camera:

In an incident around April 10, Samuelson pointed the camera pen toward [a] woman’s chest in the V-neck of her shirt, police said. Around June 6, Samuelson is accused of recording images of an area of a woman’s chest. On Aug. 30, the report alleges, he recorded images of a woman’s chest and her upper inner thighs.

Just because you have a dirty mind, do not assume that Professor Samuelson shares your smutty thoughts. His research has the loftiest of intentions:

[Professor] Samuelson admitted using the camera pen and said he was attempting to gather proof that one of the women was not wearing undergarments, the report states.

Although it is not known at this time what, if any, foundation is sponsoring Professor Samuelson and his research, we do know that the project represents the very highest ethical standards and values. When interviewed by police, the professor explained that he needed firm evidence that women were going commando because “he thought it was inappropriate.”

Professor Samuelson's periodic chart of panties.

Professor Samuelson’s periodic table of underpants.

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “When Professor Samuelson Has a Pen In His Pocket–You’d Better Believe He’s Glad to See You

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s