On Tuesday the Environmental Protection Agency issued a nationwide call for experts in a wide variety of fields to put their heads together and help solve the ongoing crisis in the Gulf of Mexico:
More than 20 scientists, engineers and technical experts attended the meeting, which also included representatives of the Energy Department, Coast Guard and National Oceanographic and Atmospheric Administration.
Other organizations represented at the gathering included the Woods Hole Oceanographic Institute; Oceanographic Institute at Harbor Branch, Florida Atlantic University; University of California at Santa Barbara; Nuytco Research Limited; World Wildlife Fund; and the University of California at Berkeley.
The punch line to this bulletin from the Associated Press is as everyone knows the inclusion of James Cameron, the serially monogamous director of Aliens, Titanic, and Avatar and sometime king of the world.
I think it is terrific that the Obama administration is thinking outside the box to fix a spill that never needed to have taken place had the United States had anything approaching a sane energy policy. (The cornerstone of such a policy would of course be drilling full bore in ANWAR, where the costs to the environment inhabited by humans would be negligible and where no succulent shrimp or tasty redfish need sacrifice its life until it met up with my frying pan.)
I think it is terrific that the president, represented by his minions at the EPA, put out the APB for the KOTW, although I am deeply distressed by this tacit admission that the billions poured into the NSF is insufficient to fund the research necessary to finding a solution.
I think it is beyond terrific that to staunch the leak the president has turned to a poster-boy not only for exuberant capitalism, but for excessive, go-for-broke energy consumption. Who better to turn to than someone who needs those gushing gallons to fuel his Malibu lifestyle and produce his gargantuan budget films, second only to black holes in the energy they devour? Here’s a guy with a vested interest in seeing that oil hoovered up and recycled for his abundant, conspicuous consumption.
But just in case Director Cameron doesn’t come up with a solution that will finally enable our president to answer daughter Malia’s poignant question, I’ve got another suggestion for President Obama. It too is outside the box, but no more so than seeking advice from a tinsel town tinhorn. Why not call on the guys from NUMA?
Conspicuously absent from the devastation taking place in the Gulf of Mexico is the can-do team of Dirk Pitt, Al Giordino, Rudi Gunn, Hiram Yeager, St. Julien Perlmutter, and, of course, Admiral James Sandecker. Since 1979 these agents of the National Underwater and Agency have tackled cataclysmic disasters far worse than anything BP has dished up so far. From the icy waters of the North Atlantic to the Mediterranean to the Gulf of Mexico itself the NUMA crew has quietly, efficiently thwarted potential environmental apocalypses with nary a Golden Globe or an Oscar to show for their effort.
What’s that? What’s that you say? NUMA doesn’t exist. It’s but a figment of the magnificent imagination of writer Clive Cussler. No. That can’t be. You’re wrong. Next thing you’ll be trying to tell me is that there is no Pandora and that the President is on top of the disaster in the Gulf.