Fatsos Need Not Apply: Professor Geoffrey Miller Likes His Students Slim ‘n Trim


University of New Mexico social psychology professor Geoffrey F. Miller researches and writes on such fascinating topics as:

  • The positive correlation of intelligence and semen quality;
  • Women who prefer longer penises are more likely to have vaginal orgasms (but not clitoral orgasms), and
  • Ovulatory cycle effects on tip earnings by waitresses in family restaurants.

Lately he has traded the enchantment of New Mexico for the Big Apple, where he’s had a gig as visiting professor at New York University. Professor Miller may want to take his time moseying on back to Albuquerque, because it turns out he is in big trouble on both sides of the continental divide, “big” being the operative word.

You see, one of Professor Miller’s latest research projects  has offended a sizable community.  It seems that although the winsome professor has been issuing “provocative tweets” in association with this as-yet unnamed study for some time now–at least that’s what he told his UNM department chair–it is his latest chirrup that has been roundly criticized.

Interestingly enough, the tweet had nothing to do with Mensa jizz, Long Dong Silver, or menstruating servers.

In a latter-day reformulation of the seven deadly sins, Miller’s tweet reduces the number to six, by combing sins three (sloth) and seven (gluttony) into one promotion-busting humdinger:tweet

Apparently, it’s not just the “obese” among us who lack willpower sufficient to see a project through to the end. As soon as the scales of collegial opinion began to tip against Professor Miller, he scrambled to disavow his remark faster than you can say “shake your Sensa” by deleting his Facebook page, locking  his Twitter account, and offer[ing] his “sincere apologies to all for that idiotic, impulsive, and badly judged tweet.”  So much for stick-to-it-tiveness for a long-term research project.

Professor Miller sometimes forgets that his glasses make object appear larger than they really are.

Professor Miller sometimes forgets that his glasses make object appear larger than they really are.

And speaking of research, Professor Miller’s cv lists his areas of scholarly interests as follows:

  • Evolutionary consumer psychology
  • The evolutionary psychology of human sexuality
  • Behavioral economics
  • The behaviour genetics,evolutionary genetics,and genetic architecture of intelligence, personality, and psychopathology
  • Analyzing human mental traits (e.g. language, intelligence, creativity, music, art, humor, and moral virtues)
  • Clinical applications of fitness indicator theory to understand the evolutionary genetics, phenotypic symptoms, and demographics of schizophrenia, depression,autism, personality disorders, and sexual dysfunctions

It’s difficult for someone–me–outside the field of evolutionary psychology to find into which one of these areas naming-calling fat people falls as way to expand our knowledge of ourselves. Perhaps a reader will educate me.

In the meantime, let’s all sit back and watch the fun as the University of New Mexico distances itself from Miller, NYU scrambles to make sure Miller’s newly blackened reputation doesn’t affect its other Professor Geoffrey Miller, and NAAFA works up a sweat wondering if Professor Miller’s head on a platter comes with fries.

NOTE TO READERS: The real issue for me here is not Professor Miller’s tactless tweet.  I am pretty sure he believes exactly what he said, and is genuinely very, very sorry to have been called out for it. No, the real issue has to do with his alleged “long-term research project” that required the tweet. Universities are legally and ethically obligated to monitor all research that uses humans (0r animals) as subjects, and are very serious about making sure such subjects are treated appropriately. The University of New Mexico is one such institution where robust research takes place and to that end has established committees and policies to ensure any one researcher’s compliance with these requirements.  I hope they will be able to account for Professor Miller’s latest project.

5 thoughts on “Fatsos Need Not Apply: Professor Geoffrey Miller Likes His Students Slim ‘n Trim

  1. Doctoral students usually learn early on that the best committee to judge your work should be deaf, dumb, and blind (and have a letch on you). Prof. Miller is mostly dumb and is no chubby chaser.

    • I thought your dissertation advisor–way, way back when–was carted off to the looney bin, just as, I understand, a number of your former departmental colleagues were.

  2. It would be criminal if we failed to recognize the seminal work done by the professors MacKenzie on jelly doughnuts and their effects on plus sized females.

  3. Pingback: The rise of the evolutionary psychology douchebag | feimineach.com

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