I don’t know about you, but for me summer’s over not just because Labor Day rolls around and the fat cats exit the Vineyard. No, I know the end has come when the distant howl of police sirens and the gentle clink of handcuffs locking signal the cops’ first bust of a faculty member caught trafficking in drugs.
Fall is arriving late at Cal State San Bernardino this year, though, because CHP has yet to catch up with fugitive from justice Professor of Kinesiology Stephen Kinzey, AKA leader of the Devils Diciples (sic) motorcycle gang, Southern California division.
On the Lam
As a professor of kinesiology, Kinzey puts his knowledge to practical use, what with being on the run and whatnot. His hasty departure leaves his live-in girlfriend (coincidentally a 2005 alumna of CSUSB) literally holding the bag of the methamphetamines Kinzey’s suspected of manufacturing and selling. With the finely tuned ethical sensibility so characteristic of academics (c.f. Middlebury Professor Kateri “I didn’t know stealing was wrong” Carmola), Kinzey is letting his woman take the rap. On the other hand, the erstwhile coed has been named by police as Kinzey’s “business partner,” assisting in the distribution of “meth to mid-level dealers in the cities of San Bernardino, Highland, Redlands and the community of Mentone.” Hands-on learning at its finest.
Meanwhile, back on campus, Kinzey’s name has been scrubbed from the faculty list in his department. You can still find references to his committee work and so forth if you do a more elaborate search, but the buried treasure of his cv has been excised.
Cut Kinzey some slack--his field is kinesiology, not linguistics.
And University President Albert T. Karnig is issuing stern warnings–to the police, that is, not the fugitive. Karnig’s marshalled his own troops to fact-check the authority’s case against Kinzey:
To our knowledge, this is the first notice that anyone on our campus has had regarding this situation. Our university police department and the entire campus community, as relevant, will work as closely as possible with the San Bernardino County Sheriff’s Department to assist with the investigation to help assure that all the facts are accurate. If the allegations are indeed true, this is beyond disappointing.
I agree. It’s “beyond disappointing” when a joint drug task force raids a faculty member’s home and takes custody of “a pound of methamphetamine as well as a number of rifles, handguns and biker paraphernalia.” Such a find can ruin a university president’s whole day.
Stay tuned for the exciting conclusion to this drama, when Kinzey is hauled off his motorcycle and starts bleating for his union rep to ensure CSUSB accords him his due process.
Happy New Academic Year!
Source for all quotations: Los Angeles Times, September 1, 2011
Only an ergonomically correct hog is good enough for a meth-peddling kinesiologist.
Miss:
This is all probably just a huge misunderstanding. The methamphetamine was just a research tool used by the professor to further his studies into the mechanics of joint movement. Oh, wait. Sorry! Joint movement was being researched by the Hell’s Angels.
Well, apparently Kinzey has moved HIS joint, having vacated his love-nest-cum-manufacturing-plant.
Is there a scale for us to know what condition applies “beyond disappointing”? Is this like a three-degree situation?
“Beyond disappointing” is south of “beyond the pale” and north of “beyond the fringe.” Others have pondered this as well.
You guys should be in the diplomatic service. Your sense of nuance is clearly beyond my pathetic attemtps at comprehension. Mr. Mangnum would be proud